I remember walking into a gym for the first time and feeling intimidated by everything and everyone there. There I was, in my baggy t-shirt and shorts, feeling out of place and unsure what to do. Why had I ventured into a gym anyway? Probably for the same reasons so many others do… because I wanted to lose weight. But I was too embarrassed to ask for help and didn’t want to go through the pain of meeting with a trainer, because they may ask me to weigh in or take my measurements. And I couldn’t bear the thought of someone knowing how much I weighed…
My early days in the gym consisted of walking in and heading for the nearest treadmill or other cardio machine, ‘doing my time’ on the machine, grabbing my stuff and getting out of there as fast as I could.
The 20-something me worked out to burn off pretty much every calorie I consumed. It was more of a punishment for what I had eaten (or a permission to eat more if the treadmill said I had burned ‘x’ amount of calories). The only benefit I saw to exercise was weight loss. I found very little joy in endless hours on the treadmill or elliptical machines. I was too self-conscious about my lack of coordination to try group classes at the gym, mostly step aerobics offered at that time.
In my 30s, I ventured into a cycling class – a friend teaching it had invited me to her class. (Riding a bike in class didn’t seem as intimidating as step aerobics.) I’m so grateful for that invitation. The ‘high’ I experienced after completing a cycling class was addictive, and I started actually enjoying my workouts, scheduling time for it on my calendar and becoming a regular fixture at the gym.
It’s been more than a decade since that first cycling class. I started trying other classes and eventually fell so in love with one particular class, I became certified to teach it. I discovered the stress relief that comes with exercise, the happy endorphin ‘high’ after a great workout. A side effect of working out was weight loss, but weight loss became more secondary instead of the primary focus.
Another unexpected side effect: exercising and taking care of myself has allowed me to stay active with my kids. In early 2022, my teenage daughter and I participated in the starter league at our local volleyball club. I didn’t play sports as a kid, so participating in a team sport like this was a bit daunting. I can’t say I’m going to be the next Misty May… or even chosen to play on one of the competitive teams at this club, BUT I was healthy enough to do this with my daughter and loved every minute of this experience with her.
More recently, I started training Brazilian jiu-jitsu. If you would have told me in my 20s or 30s that one day I would be happily heading off to grapple and fight other people in a class, I would have laughed at you. But I love it and keep going back for more.
I’m not sure if you could have convinced a younger me to do this journey any differently, although I wish I would have discovered my love of fitness earlier, and being healthy instead of worrying about the number on the scale or my pant size. I focused too much on eating as little as I could and working off all the calories I did consume. It took a while to change my eating habits, but now that I eat healthier and consume more calories, I have been able to build muscle … and muscle is what has given me that ‘toned’ look I wanted so much when I was younger.
My encouragement to my younger self (and to you, if you relate to what I’ve shared here), find an activity you enjoy. Keep trying things until something clicks. Let exercise be a mental escape, stress relief, a fun activity. If weight loss/fat loss is your goal, adjust your eating habits and don’t use exercise as a form of punishment like I did for so long. And don’t let your age limit you… I’m in my late 40s now, and looking forward to as many active years as God grants me.
CINDY DIEHL 